Written by: ViR
I follow a lot of Fitbloggers on Twitter and read their blogs, and am almost a removed groupie, who loves watching their journey of health, fitness, and support of one another through all they do! I have wished to be in this group and it makes me feel like a middle schooler with a crush. Their community is pretty fantastic, and a lot like the pro-recovery one, where they share their journey in health, fitness, nutrition, and I find it really amazing to watch and read about since I too, as a recovery advocate, believe in moderation, balance, fitness, nutrition, and overall health in body, mind and spirit.
I don’t know if I have shared this before but my guy is a runner, he has been most of his life, and was on his Universities team as well. He runs daily, and if he misses running, boy can I tell!!! Running for him is sanity; it gives him an outlet for stress, and keeps his body and mind healthy. I have always WISHED I could run, not only so I could share a time with him I am not normally part of, but because it is such a fantastic exercise that requires no gym, special tools (other than shoes, etc), and you can just get up and go, versus the planning it takes me to make it to a pilates mat class.
When we first started dating, I tried running with him, he had us run two minutes and walk one, and go for 15-20 minutes. I did this for a week, but it was brutal. As a former dancer, and having both ankles with torn ligaments and tendons, and my natural hip turnout and knees, I feel like it was worse than a normal struggle. I think I could have gotten past the breathing and fitness level struggle, because as with anything else our bodies adapt with practice and training. I simply decided my body and its structure did not like, nor handle running well.
I love reading the fitbloggers who run, who sign up for marathons, and triathlons’, and support each-other in tweet chats, in replies, and blogs, that share their journeys. I had a moment this morning of “wishful” thinking that if I could run, I would be accepted into this group. WOW. My insecurity and wish to belong, made me wish to do something my body simply doesn’t do well. This morning I tweeted “I sometimes wish my body could run. But hey I can do the splits so that’s something right?” 
That was a turning point in self awareness. I honestly needed to switch perspectives and be grateful for what I CAN do versus what I WISH I could do. Everyone’s body is different, and each one of us has different strengths in what it can do, and I need to stop the wishful thinking, and focus on what I can do. So I decided to write a list of what I can do so when I find myself struggling.
- I can & do walk miles a day to and from work
- I can & do go to pilates at least three times a week
- I can do a roll up with strength in my legs so that I do not have to re-adjust my head back onto the mat when I am done
- I can do a full push-up challenge in plank
- I can do a teaser that is getting better in time
- I can roll like a ball in various positions and laugh at myself whenever I get stuck
- I can do a backbend
- I can go through my vinyasa with ease now! I LOVE the feeling!
- I can do the splits after stretching a few minutes
- I can do a cartwheel
- I can do a flip in the pool off the wall
- I can hula hoop
- I can skip & jump (preferably on my bed)
Have you ever found yourself comparing to others and the fitness they do? Do you think “the grass is always greener”? How about taking a few minutes when these thoughts come up and writing out what you CAN do! Maybe you will find you can do more than you thought you could!
What I have discovered is that my personal growth in fitness will build upon my can-do’s. I WILL be open to trying new things, and seeing if I enjoy it. I don’t enjoy running, but I do LOVE pilates and yoga mix classes, so why not focus on what I love, what I can do, and work on pushing myself within the kind of fitness my individual body enjoys? I am constantly working towards listening and respecting my body, and this is one more way in doing that, while promoting health in body, mind and spirit.
What CAN you do???
~ Be yourself everyone else is taken ~ Oscar Wilde
i dont know how you do it, but you posts always come at the perfect time for me.
running and i are in a battle. i have NEVER been a runner and was convinced it was just not something my body could do. a few months ago (being a stubborn scorpio) i decided to give myself a major challenge and try to “become” a runner. i’ve been working at it diligently and have been making steady progress.
last night, i had a crappy run. for the first time i had to quit 1/2 way through and walk the rest of the way home. i came home feeling like a failure…like my body had defeated me.
a few hours and a lot of self-talk later i started feeling better…running DOES NOT come easily to me, and that’s ok. i am (literally) miles ahead of where i was 3 months ago, and that in itself if amazing. even if i am never able to run a 10k or a 1/2 marathon i have not failed…i have grown and learned.
ok, wow that was a rant…sorry! but this post really just gave me something i needed. thank you.
By: steff on August 13, 2010
at 4:13 AM
Steff I adore you and your responses!!! I absolutely hear you! I think we forget to accept how far we HAVE come in what we are trying to do. I know I come home after pilates all upset I couldn’t do this one move PERFECT, and have to fight that inner dialogue and tell myself, I have come so far in a few months! You can rant anytime. Thank you as always for leaving a wonderful comment. I think many can relate to your experience when trying something new, and it often feels like a battle. I hope your journey gets smoother in time!
By: VoiceinRecovery on August 13, 2010
at 4:24 AM
Beautiful post! Listening to my body has always been hard for me. Sometimes I tell myself I’m listening to it because I feel the pain but I don’t really do anything about it. So I listen, just don’t act upon what I’m feeling. I grew up pushing through any pain no matter how hard it was on my body or how many injuries I had. Through dance, softball, basketball, running, gymnastics, golf…the list goes on and on. I’d run with tendinitis, push through pain of a healing broken leg, dance on a sprained ankle…it didn’t matter I would do it. I hope to some day be able to listen and truly act on what my body is telling me. Doing what I love, and not pushing to extremes.
By: Jennifer on August 13, 2010
at 5:11 AM
Look at all the things you’re awesome at! I’m horrific at yoga and would probably never be able to walk again if i attempted the splits!
I am personally a runner, but I think it’s great that we can all find a niche in fitness that we can be good at- I wish I were better at yoga/pilates and had at least a little more patience to attempt them more often!
By: Amy @ Second City Randomness on August 13, 2010
at 5:13 AM
I can very much relate to your struggle on both a more general and specific level. As I become more involved in the blogging community, I find myself frequently comparing myself to others. For me, even though I run, I find myself getting down on myself for not having the amazing speed that a lot of the bloggers do, or the endurance, or the knowledge. Or the ability to bike and swim and thus be able to do a tri. The point is, there will always be something that I can’t do. But then again, there will always be something I CAN do as well. On a bigger picture level, it’s so easy to get trapped into the comparison game… I love how you reminded yourself of what you can do. Now I’m jealous of YOU because I can’t do a cartwheel! =)
By: Ashley Solomon on August 13, 2010
at 8:42 AM
Great post! I go through spurts where I want to be a long distance runner, but my body tells me that’s not a great idea. I am learning to accept that I am a slow 5k kind of girl.
I have often wished I was I was a dancer, but I think I should accept that I am strong but not graceful!
I also think sometimes I don’t try things because I am sure I will fail.
By: Paige on August 13, 2010
at 10:54 AM
What a great post! YOU can hula hoop!
That’s so cool. I have always wanted to learn to do that. I CAN… Do 10 pull ups, do the splits, Dead lift 235lb, and make the best Carmel Latte
we really seem to spend lots of time in our heads compairing our selves to others and IF that INSPIRES us that great! If it does not, what a bummer.
I really enjoy your tweets and blog you write with great authenitcity (sp?)– thank you
By: Malia on August 14, 2010
at 1:25 PM
I always feel like everyone is so much better than me at everything. I do way too much comparing, and it wears me down. I’m really working hard at not doing this. This was a wonderful post for me to read right now, as I’m going through some transitions in my life, and feeling riddled with self doubt and a lack of confidence.
By: Angela on August 15, 2010
at 7:06 AM
From following your tweets, I think you would really enjoy “ChiRunning”. It puts the focus on running as practice like pilates. It also focuses on form and energy to prevent injury and make running a joyful experience.
By: themindfulmama on August 16, 2010
at 4:40 AM
Kendra, this post is fantastic! I can relate 150 percent! Thank you for always being so honest about your own struggles.
I compare myself to others all the time. I wonder if my blog is good enough, if my fitness level is good enough, why I’m not as productive as so and so, and why I can’t do such and such workout, too.
BTW, that’s awesome that you can do the teaser! So tough! And doing a split is super hard. You have a ton to thank your body for.
By: Margarita Tartakovsky on August 16, 2010
at 1:24 PM
[...] favorite post. “Can-Do’s: Stop Comparing” at Voice In [...]
By: Yoga & Body Image: Insight from a Yoga Expert | Weightless on August 18, 2010
at 3:19 AM
i just wrote about this today!
i wish i could hug every girl who’s felt guilty for not doing “more.” self-love starts with peace with what we’re given!!!
-r
By: rebekah (clarity in creation.) on August 31, 2010
at 4:07 AM