Written by: ViR
I find different personalities fascinating. I also follow horoscope signs. I am a true, hardcore, tattooed Scorpio woman. I love impulses, love extremes, and love drama. As I find myself writing “I love drama” I realize this isn’t the entire truth. I have always said I HATE drama, and I do. But sometimes, I find my actions, behaviors, and words to counter that spoken word argument; and I feel actions often speak louder than words.
I love my personal highs and lows. Why? Because I can feel them, I feel sad, angry, hyper, joyful, grateful, moody, etc. I like them, because in recovery I have learned to understand and be able to put words to my emotions. I remember in IOP (Intensive out patient), during group, before every session we had to give a feeling word, and we weren’t allowed to use fine. I found this fun, but sometimes annoying because “fine” was sometimes all I was feeling.
Further along into recovery, I have come to realize I never feel fine; fine is simply not the correct word. I guess it would be called flat. I don’t feel any extreme in emotion, I just feel flat, blah, dissociated and bored. Not stressed, not happy, and not able to move along from blah to anything else. I do realize those last few words are telling. I would prefer to PUSH my feeling from blah to anything else I can put a word to. Perhaps this is why I may pick fights, overreact, and blow up after a case of the blahs. Perhaps I am reaching out and reacting to things outside me because I want to change from the blahs to anything that makes me personally feel more alive.
I never do anything actually positive, patient, or loving to myself in the case of the blahs. So I have decided I am going to make a list of things I can do the next time I come up with a case of the blahs. I have mentees and I often tell them not to focus on the so-called failures (because I simply do not allow that word in my vocabulary) in recovery. I tell them to learn the lesson, and add new things to their recovery relapse plan to help them next time succeed when faced with particular triggers. It is what I view as a plan for success many use in business, and often in life.
Here is my list of self care, positives to utilize in the future:
- Take 5 minutes to meditate, focusing on breathing
- Go take a walk outside, if only for 5 minutes
- Write a grateful list
- Allow myself to take a nap if I need to
- Go to a pilates class even if it isn’t the normal class I go to
- Ask for hugs & loves from the people around me (versus lashing out, picking fights, or acting distant)
- Email a mentor, friend, or fellow advocate
- Recognize, honor, and respect the feelings presence; journal that it will not last, it is a feeling like all the others, and it’s time will come to an end
- Write a list of things I love about me!
- Read inspiring blogs
- Ask for a timeout in my relationships; if I need ME time alone, that is OK
- Take a bath
- Eat healthy meals, drink water, go to bed at a decent hour
- Call my mom and whine 🙂
- Make a to do list and start with just one thing at a time, and cross off as I do it
- Create a vision board, or add to ViR’s dream journal! (this one ends up on a LOT of my lists)
- Reach out to my mentees and see how they are doing; if there is ONE thing that helps my own recovery – it is helping others! It gets me out of my head, and focused outside of self
- Look in the mirror & say a positive affirmation, whether for body image, self love, or simply my awesomeness (Say I love you in the mirror is a tool a LOT of therapists, and mentors will recommend – try it! You may think it is silly at first, but at least you get a laugh out of it)
- Be mindful of what I am reading, watching, listening to: What I allow into mind is just as important as what I feed my physical body
- Say NO to requests that may drain my energy
- Be mindful of the words I use in my communication; use words that explain how I feel, without reacting to someone else; just to get what I need. If I need a hug, or quiet time, or a cry, communicate these things to my partner
So there is a simple list to try the next time I get the blahs! We shall see how it goes, and I hope to be able to utilize at least one or more of these. Maybe, just maybe using this list in the blahs will also domino into other parts of my life. Maybe with practice, I can apply this to ALL my feelings, because in the end self care, self love, and making me a priority will not only help me, but those around me as well!
Hence, there is a time to go ahead and a time to stay behind.
There is a time to breathe easy and a time to breathe hard.
There is a time to be vigorous and a time to be gentle.
There is a time to gather and a time to release.
Can you see things as they are
And let them be all on their own?
Ever have a case of the blahs? Do you try to run from the feeling? What do you do? Do you have a proactive action list?