Where am I right now? What is going on in my head? I decided today to write stream of consciousness to see what would come up. I think for some reason I am not thoroughly processing the move. I have less than three weeks to the move, have a lot of packing and cleaning to do and still am working full time through it all. I even will be working on the road trip back to Cali. For those who may not be aware, we will be moving from Boston back to California. I am a procrastinator, in action. I rely on the end stress to give me the push. I am not a planner, not a list person, and as much as I have learned in my life, I still have to have a lot of motivation to plan ahead accordingly.
I have lived in Boston for two years. It has certainly been an adventure. I have learned about myself, become a grown up, creating Voice in Recovery, made so many friends in social media, and established myself in a job I excel at. Two years is a blip on the radar in my life and yet so much has happened. I have learned to listen to my body, found a part of my body I had lost through pilates, and learned to juggle a full time job, full time advocacy, mentoring, and incorporate self care as well. I am really proud of all I have done while in Boston. I honestly think the move to Boston helped push my life forward in ways I could never imagine.
I am realizing how important it is to brag about US! I think we need to recognize, honor, and share our successes as well as our struggles. I want to look back at the last two years with kindness, for as much a struggle it has been, I have learned, grown, and demonstrated I am capable of living my life and not crumbling.
Here is a mini brag list:
I go to pilates at least three times a week, because I love it, it provides me sanity in my daily life.
I have come to realize the importance of my personal relationships, and have acknowledged I need time off social media on the weekends to be present, showing them the love and care I think is important to share.
I have remained sober
I mentor two lovely people in recovery from an eating disorder, and as much as I am in a role to mentor them, I believe they have taught me more about myself, about recovery, and life
I have made connections with a diverse range on people on Facebook, Twitter, through E-mails, G-chats, and thoroughly believe they are some of the most honest, open, inspiring people I have ever met in my life
I have been patient with myself when I am sad, angry, numb, dissociated
I consistently fight the “SHOULD” monster, not letting it define or shape my actions
I reach out to others when I need to vent
I haven’t self harmed in a LONG time
When I am emotionally eating, I practice patience, and love, and walk away without allowing guilt feelings to enter in as negative self talk
When angry, or upset, I have learned it is as important to say “I’m sorry” as it is to work on changing the behavior in the future. That actions speak louder than words
I will NEVER, EVER GIVE UP
I can honestly say I LOVE myself
Remember – the little things COUNT! The little things MATTER!
Loving and accepting ALL of our journey is important. That means learning lessons, and even if we slip and fall, being able to stand up, ask for help, and move forward.
Brag about you; take time to recognize all the parts along the journey. Loving ourselves mean loving all of ourselves, from the snippy person frustrated with being woken up too early, to the sad person who wants to curl back in bed, to the confused person who doesn’t know which fork in the road to take.
It means ALL of who we are. What parts of you are you pushing away, hiding, trying to ignore? Maybe take a moment to recognize, and listen to that voice, show a little kindness and compassion to it. Accept that it is only one part of yourself, and welcome its insight into your day. Shut off the voice saying you should be this, or that, stop listening to the media, stop buying those magazines, start listening to your authentic voice and listen. And remember to brag about all the mini successes in your day!
Today – Brag about YOU!
Today – Make the Little things COUNT!
Today – Accept yourself!
Today – Start to Love yourself!