I received this email yesterday from my mom:
I obviously read your blog and once again I am so proud of the honesty and vulnerability in your writing. You are amazing and your journey is inspiring to so many people who share similar struggles. Never be afraid to share, as it is so relieving for someone else who is afraid of being honest. It is ok and everyone who supports you and loves you will always continue to do so. That can be a comfort for those who follow you. I am proud to be one of those who wants to listen and read your words, and I cannot express how proud I am as a Mom to watch you reach out to help someone else. Keep writing, I have always loved to read what you write.
Love you, Mom
These words are extremely important to me in my recovery. I have come a very far way, and while I recognize my own personal development and growth, these words from my mom mean the world. I have put my parents through more than words can express, not only within my behaviors, but through recovery as well. Their support was crucial to my success in life and recovery.
I wanted to share this with parents especially. I know how hard it is at times, to watch your child struggle, to be frustrated, and to lose hope at times. I also know how hard it is as the person in the struggle to know exactly what we put our parents (or support network) through. I am able to see all of this now. I could NEVER have seen this in the disorder. I was too lost, and self involved to see the consequences of my behavior on others. There were other times where I was aware of it, but my needs in the moment were greater. I wanted short term relief and could only see in the moment, all consequences were delayed. As I often say, instant gratification vs. delayed consequences.
I wanted to share my moms words because I often ask what helps keep people motivated or inspired in recovery and life. These are the words that fuel the fire. I was always accepted and seen as a person, not a disorder, by my mom. She may not have understood, been angry, sad, frustrated, but she never gave up on me. I would not be alive had my parents not put there foot down and said I was going into residential. I am not discounting my own part in my recovery; obviously I was the one who chose recovery, chose to fight, and chose to stop the insanity. I am saying that recovery is very much a team effort, full of therapists, friends, nutritionists, psychiatrists, moms, dads, sisters, brothers, mentors, sponsors, and many others. I think support in recovery is so important. I am grateful for all the support I received from my parents, because they were a key part of the puzzle of my recovery.
I just wanted to take this as my chance to thank my mom and dad, because in my recovery, speaking my thankfuls keeps me focused, accountable, motivated, and inspired.
I know many people may feel they don’t have support, don’t have an understanding team, friends, family, etc. I want to make a plea to give these people who are trying a chance. I know there are people who are toxic for your recovery, and I honestly support healthy boundaries with those who are harmful. But if you have a team, that is trying, even if they don’t understand, they are with you fighting as well.
I am grateful for all parents, friends, therapists, nutritionists, advocates, etc. who spend their time helping another who struggles in a disorder, addiction, mental health issue, and continues to love and support those through all the ups and downs along the journey. While self acceptance is a process, it helps to have others as cheerleaders who sees who we are, loves us, and believes we can do it.