Posted by: VoiceinRecovery | October 4, 2010

Top 10 Things the Marie Claire Issue has Taught Me


  1. As a blogger I will always have differing opinions, points of views, responses to what I write
    1. I accept that people will not always agree with me
    2. I accept that my POV isn’t right for everyone
    3. I have a right to clarify, respond, and have a dialogue based on mutual respect
  2. Media Literacy is really important
    1. I am aware journalism is biased, isn’t always factual, and has an agenda/message of their own.
    2. I am aware that responsibility is on both the writer and reader to do research; and if there are myths, stereotypes, and non facts – I can state so on topics I am educated on; I am aware I have to do my own research, prior to making any statements, opinions, or thoughts
    3. I am aware media’s messages are CONSTANTLY confusing and contradictory
  3. Using my voice has pros and cons, and the pros always outweigh the cons
    1. I believe voices are powerful
    2. I believe everyone has a right to an opinion
    3. I believe I have a responsibility as a blogger to state when things are an opinion, or one based on facts, research, or other opinions
  4. I have choices, and make them mindful and vigilant of what ViR’s message is
    1. I have the responsibility to continuously go back to my mission statement and make sure it hasn’t changed, and that what I write is in alignment with what that is
    2. I have a responsibility to listen to feedback, respond to questions, and provide clarification where needed
    3. I have a responsibility to be vigilant of potential triggers, myths, stereotypes
  5. I need to be mindful of WHO my readers are
    1. I know that there are people in various states of recovery who read ViR’s blog & am mindful of that when I post
    2. I know that I am only one voice, not THE voice
    3. I know it is important to have a variety of guest bloggers to share different experiences, histories, struggles, and successes
  6. I need to be open-minded to topics I am passionate about
    1. I know where I have the most passion, is when I need to take a step back, read other view points, and weigh all sides before discussing topics
    2. I know I am a strong personality and can sometimes come off opinionated, biased, and one-sided – however I am mindful, aware and open to constructive feedback
    3. I know passion is WHY I love to blog, why I love being an advocate, and why I know being a voice is so important
  7. Not every battle, controversy I HAVE to have a voice on
    1. I need to repeat this over and over
    2. I need to just say NO and walk away from topics that do not involve me
    3. I need to remember sometimes there is more drama from the response, and I want to focus on being proactive and taking the lessons we can from them vs deconstruct the controversy over and over (especially since this can sell magazines, products, etc)
  8. I need to accept my viewpoint will always be partly biased based on my history, experience, and that is OK
    1. I am me
    2. I am the culmination of such experiences, struggles
    3. I am aware that my experience helps also give a voice to others who are currently going through issues and if I can help one person feel less alone, then I have been successful
  9. I need to be open to change my mind on opinions, thoughts, words & also be accountable to share these changes, and the reasons why
    1. Respect – I really believe if there isn’t respect, it breaks down communication, comes off as judgmental
    2. Dialogues – BLAMING, SHAMING, and POINTING FINGERS is not constructive. I will repeat (as I have stated previously several times) that no one person can CAUSE an eating disorder, or any other disordered behavior. There are a lot of correlations, and contributing factors, but cause isn’t an easy relationship, and I challenge anyone using that word to provide me with research to back it up.
    3. Open Communication – In the end I hope we can talk about issues, share our thoughts, and respect that we will have different opinions. These issues are serious, important, and affect a lot of people; if we cannot discuss openly, it becomes defensive, judgmental, drama filled, and not focused on pro-action, prevention, and finding new solutions to problems, or addressing what lessons we can learn from such issues
  10. In the end, I have to be true to my own voice
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Responses

  1. Thank you for posting this. I find a lot of inspiration from the women who Marie Claire dissed and I find a lot of inspiration from you… What I’ve found as “formerly chubby” is that I can be just as inspired by a former anorexic or a former couch potato, who are living their lives and musing on their truth… Everyone is somewhere on a journey. And I agree, no one can “give someone” an eating disorder.

  2. Insightful!

  3. You make some really fantastic points here, and this is truly a post that I think all of us in the blogging community should read and consider how it may apply to our own lives. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! You are such a wonderful role model.

    • It is really hard to be a blogger, an advocate. I sometimes have to lay out my mantra/rules/lessons to really see what lessons I have learned along the way

  4. I love this post. Seriously. It’s so clear and well thought out. I’m RUNNING to edit it into my Marie Claire round-up. Thanks so much, always, for your insight and brilliance. xoxo

    • Thank you so much hun. LOVED your post as well. Honesty is a great place to come from 🙂

  5. […] Voice in Recovery, Top 10 Things the Marie Claire Issue Has Taught Me […]

  6. Thank you so much for writing this post! It is a very mature and respectable take on what we’re all feeling right now.

    • Thank you for reading and commenting. I have read just SO many things in the last two days and really wanted to focus on what I could learn from all of this. focus on the positive 🙂

  7. Yes
    Yes
    Yes
    Yes
    Yes
    Yes
    Yes
    Yes
    Yes
    Yes

    • Yah Yah Yah Yah Yah Yah Yah Yah Yah Yah 🙂

  8. Thank you for this post. I know that in my own response, I didn’t take the time I needed to reflect and while I still stand behind the words that I wrote, I do think that my opinion is biased and anyone whom landed on my blog because of the post that I wrote didn’t know that about me.

    • Thank you Christie. Believe me it is hard. I tweet a lot without thinking. I often have to take the phone OUT of my hands because I am a scorpio, very loud mouth person 🙂 I think we all know we have biases and people will write with angles.

  9. This is a great post and a really important part of the discussion. I think once we’re all able to take a step back from the sheer meanness of the article, we might actually be able to make some really positive strides in being responsible bloggers.

    I believe in my heart that we all do what we do because we want to make a difference.

    • Katy – thank you. I think that was the worst thing about this entire thing. The judgment, assumptions, and pointing blame and fingers not based on fact. I would expect that journalism on a few sources, but was surprised to see Marie Claire go there when most of their magazine isn’t a positive role model for those struggling with disordered behaviors. Oh the irony. I personally didn’t want to put more flame to the fire, because I do follow the women, read their blogs, and while I can SEE the need for a discussion, it doesn’t have to come from a hateful, one sided place. I WISH they would have brough up a discussion about this. It was offending on an eating disorder side, because it minimalizes the contributing factors of why a person develops an ED. There were a lot of issues, and I overall wanted to take a step back, breathe, and find the lessons within the discussion that should take place. I don’t support attacking people EVER : )

  10. Kendra, I just love this! I love that you took something so negative and turned it into a positive and thoughtful post. You seriously impress me every time with your honesty, sincerity and insight.

    Thank you for always making me think!

    • Thank you!!! I really had to step away from reading a million responses (which I did) and breathe before sitting down to write. I could have responded in a way to address the situation, but it isn’t my battle, and honestly didn’t want to add more to a really icky situation. I think a discussion on this would be much better for all.

  11. I haven’t read the Marie Claire article but I love this post as it are great guidelines for blogging in general. Part of recovery IS staying true to yourself and your voice…hard work but SO WORTH IT..and advocates like you are SO important!

    • Yes. That is the truth. Recovery is about finding our authentic voice, and learning how to communicate and be true to it 🙂

  12. From one Scorpio in search of authenticity to another, BRAVA!!! This is brilliant! 🙂

    • Woot woot!!

  13. I LOVE this post. It is well thought out, personal and written with a calm point of view. I have had to step back from much of the MC discussion because I know FOR ME the “drama” is a negative trigger.

    Reaction with retrospection seldom yields any positive results. And this is an issue that -like many- clearly NEEDS some retrospection.

    • Thank you! I too get easily sucked into drama, and can trigger just negative thinking. I had to force myself to walk away from the computer, stop reading responses, and come to a calm place to see the bigger picture. For me, as a blogger I need to lay out my intentions, responsibilities, accountability, and accept that when we choose to be a voice, there will be things at times that shake us up. This isn’t necessarily bad, but a moment of retrospection helps me from blurting out something not well thought out. 🙂

  14. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  15. Well said 🙂
    I think we all need to realize these points and take responsibility for what we write. Too many people got defensive before acknowledging the possibility that we could learn from this situation.

    • Thank you very much!!! This is what I hope we can take away from all of it. 🙂 Thanks for reading my post & leaving a comment!!

  16. So very very well stated.

  17. I love your blog. I love following you on twitter. I love everythign about what you have to share. bc it’s always well thought out, fair and just.

    you inspire me every day.

    • That comment just made my night!!!! Honestly I am honored to be someone you follow! I’m actually speechless 🙂

  18. how are you!This was a really quality topic!
    I come from milan, I was luck to look for your theme in yahoo
    Also I learn much in your blog really thanks very much i will come later

  19. excellent post! Just think, if the author of the Marie Claire article had followed some of this advice, there never would have been an issue. Thank you for taking the time to write these out and share with us.
    — @stales


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